FANTASMAGORE-A-GLASSES!!
Ok ok let me tell the story. I was meandering around the barren, craggy, ghoul-infested forest behind my haunted mansion when I took a tumble. It seems that I had fallen into a fresh grave recently dug by the demented, blind ice-dwarves that I have adopted as my own children. Normally, this sort of thing wouldn’t bother me, as I was deep in a reverie and no better place to have a reverie than the bottom of a grave! :) However, this time, I was dismayed to find that my favorite pair of purple-lensed wraparound sunglasses had broken in half! Now, I’m told that Los Angeles is rather sunny. I will believe this, though I haven’t seen direct sunlight since 1982. So, I began to get nervous. I immediately summoned my headless coach-driver and had him prepare the demon horse and the gauziest, most fragile carriage in the garage. “TO SUNGLASS HUT,” I exclaimed and we stormed off, leaving a cloud of spiders and bats in our wake. Upon arriving, I was horrified to find that the store’s entire stock of purple-lensed wraparound sunglasses had been purchased by Bono and donated to Ugandan children with hypersensitive optic nerves. This made me very, very, very, very, very, very sad and I did the only thing I know to do at times like these: I ascended to the topmost spire of my haunted mansion and stared poignantly out of the window for weeks, contemplating the meaning of every snowflake that fell from my rare, antique winter-making-machine (mounted on the roof). Then my IMAGINATION came alive! I’ll make my own line of sunglasses! Yes my own wraparound purple-lensed sunglasses! And the frames will come in all kinds of colors like black with white stripes and white with black stripes and grey with black and white stripes and some with images of Jack Skellington’s head on them! My imagination has come to my rescue again. I made sketches and sent them off to my workshop and production is moving along magically, I’m pleased to report. And I haven’t even gotten to the best part: seems the diminutive wretches in my R and D workshop are testing out a feature that allows the wearer to see through the skin and muscle tissue and look straight at the grinning white skull of that person’s one and only true, yet unrequited, love! OMG!!
FANTASMAGORE-A-GLASSES by Tim Burton!!!
Retail price – $17.98
Available at Hot Topic locations everywhere March 09
-TB
Saturday, August 9, 2008
more imaginings ...
ok so i can't stop thinking about how i want to REIMAGINE every movie i've ever seen. this first one may be kind of out there, but follow me:
ok so the downriver trip in apocalypse now has always reminded me, for SOME reason, of the boat ride in charlie and the chocolate factory (which i have already boldy REIMAGINED). i'm thinking i want to go sort of in that direction with it.. more hallucinations and nursery rhymes, i think. lots more nursery rhymes. the character of capt willard should either be an in-your-face mad gothic jester with a stripey umbrella and/or tophat or he should be a waifish, pale, introspective goth in a puffy victorian blouse. either way, i need to find a young, up-and-coming leading man. i was thinking tobey mcguire, but he's maybe too macho for the role. maybe that quiet kid from little miss sunshine. other ideas: brando's kurtz to be replaced by a stop-motion cartoon vincent price voiced by alan rickman. his savage army will be composed entirely of horrifying but romantically tragic dwarves. he will melodiously recite the jabberwocky instead of the hollow men. and johnny depp will play The Vietnam War. this is gold. money in the goddamned bank.
another idea: yellow submarine, but instead of the beatles, it stars oingo boingo... but they're marionettes! these things just keep coming to me!
and i just thought of this one: blade runner:REIMAGINED. a film focusing soley on that weird inventor's toy friends. christina ricci will play a doll whose greatest dream is to become a human being. a dead human being. possibly a musical. i will call elfman.
here are some first time IMAGININGS which i'm considering filming.
mousetrap and/or chutes and ladders, the movie. based on the classic board games. to give you a feel for the vibe, imagine cube if it had been written by the brothers grimm and featured production design by francisco goya. but better. because i imagined this.
Tim Burton's "Edvard Munch's The Scream" starring Paul Reubens. nobody has EVER tried to turn a classic piece of fine art into a full-length motion FANTASY, but if anyone can do it, it is I ... Tim Burton ... THE GOTH-FATHER. i JUST coined that nickname for myself! wait .... waaaiiiit ... "the goth-father" has a nice ring to it ... do i smell a REIMAGINED TRILOGY???
whew! all this imagination has gotten me all tuckered out. i am going to eat a bowl of count chocula and retire to my antique coffin to sleep and hopefully have nightmares so maybe i can make more movies.
-TB
ok so the downriver trip in apocalypse now has always reminded me, for SOME reason, of the boat ride in charlie and the chocolate factory (which i have already boldy REIMAGINED). i'm thinking i want to go sort of in that direction with it.. more hallucinations and nursery rhymes, i think. lots more nursery rhymes. the character of capt willard should either be an in-your-face mad gothic jester with a stripey umbrella and/or tophat or he should be a waifish, pale, introspective goth in a puffy victorian blouse. either way, i need to find a young, up-and-coming leading man. i was thinking tobey mcguire, but he's maybe too macho for the role. maybe that quiet kid from little miss sunshine. other ideas: brando's kurtz to be replaced by a stop-motion cartoon vincent price voiced by alan rickman. his savage army will be composed entirely of horrifying but romantically tragic dwarves. he will melodiously recite the jabberwocky instead of the hollow men. and johnny depp will play The Vietnam War. this is gold. money in the goddamned bank.
another idea: yellow submarine, but instead of the beatles, it stars oingo boingo... but they're marionettes! these things just keep coming to me!
and i just thought of this one: blade runner:REIMAGINED. a film focusing soley on that weird inventor's toy friends. christina ricci will play a doll whose greatest dream is to become a human being. a dead human being. possibly a musical. i will call elfman.
here are some first time IMAGININGS which i'm considering filming.
mousetrap and/or chutes and ladders, the movie. based on the classic board games. to give you a feel for the vibe, imagine cube if it had been written by the brothers grimm and featured production design by francisco goya. but better. because i imagined this.
Tim Burton's "Edvard Munch's The Scream" starring Paul Reubens. nobody has EVER tried to turn a classic piece of fine art into a full-length motion FANTASY, but if anyone can do it, it is I ... Tim Burton ... THE GOTH-FATHER. i JUST coined that nickname for myself! wait .... waaaiiiit ... "the goth-father" has a nice ring to it ... do i smell a REIMAGINED TRILOGY???
whew! all this imagination has gotten me all tuckered out. i am going to eat a bowl of count chocula and retire to my antique coffin to sleep and hopefully have nightmares so maybe i can make more movies.
-TB
possible films to REIMAGINE once i finish "alice in wonderland"...
rebel without a cause starring johnny depp. so. fucking. perfect. i've been stitting on this one for awhile.
malcolm x - clearly a role johnny depp was born to play. why do other people even use casting directors?? to get the makeup right, i may have to actually meet some black people and see what they really look like in person.
the ten commandments. stop motion. j depp voices goth moses. God depicted as a black-and-white-striped merry-go-round. if only vincent price was around to voice Him/Her/It ... Red Sea parted by elaborate, archaic-looking, whimsical machinery. lots of gears and springs and conveyor belts that look totally sweet but don't really do anything.
edward scissorhands. stop-motion musical. nuff said. hot topic already interested in licensed lunchboxes and vinyl backpacks.
star wars. mark wahlberg as luke skywalker. johnny depp as The Force.
modern times. this one might just be too easy.
2001: a space odyssey. always thought danny elfman could score a much better intro piece for this one. depp as monolith. hal 9000 designed to look like a rube goldberg invention from a medieval dungeon painted by ska fans on mescaline.
also, original bio-pic: the tragedy of johnny depp and winona ryder. ryder's part to be played by helena bonham carter.
continue these thoughts later. have to go see who's knocking, knocking at my chamber door.
-TB
malcolm x - clearly a role johnny depp was born to play. why do other people even use casting directors?? to get the makeup right, i may have to actually meet some black people and see what they really look like in person.
the ten commandments. stop motion. j depp voices goth moses. God depicted as a black-and-white-striped merry-go-round. if only vincent price was around to voice Him/Her/It ... Red Sea parted by elaborate, archaic-looking, whimsical machinery. lots of gears and springs and conveyor belts that look totally sweet but don't really do anything.
edward scissorhands. stop-motion musical. nuff said. hot topic already interested in licensed lunchboxes and vinyl backpacks.
star wars. mark wahlberg as luke skywalker. johnny depp as The Force.
modern times. this one might just be too easy.
2001: a space odyssey. always thought danny elfman could score a much better intro piece for this one. depp as monolith. hal 9000 designed to look like a rube goldberg invention from a medieval dungeon painted by ska fans on mescaline.
also, original bio-pic: the tragedy of johnny depp and winona ryder. ryder's part to be played by helena bonham carter.
continue these thoughts later. have to go see who's knocking, knocking at my chamber door.
-TB
WHAT'S THIS? WHAT'S THIS?
Thank you for visiting and welcome to the nightmarish, skeletal ferris wheel of my thoughts and fantasies! I, of course, am Tim Burton: undisputed box-office king of movies for goths by a goth. I hope you enjoy my little jottings. I have already posted a few entries elsewhere, but I will catch you up to speed. I hope you are all very excited about my upcoming REIMAGINING of "Alice in Wonderland", due to hit theaters in 2010. We have just finished filming two key sequences: the tale of the heartbroken leviathan whose mother made the world and the mad horseshoe game with the headless porcelain zombie dolls. Remember: there's no such thing as "not being true to the source material" when you are ... REIMAGINING!
-TB
-TB
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
