NEW PRODUCT NEWS!!

FANTASMAGORE-A-GLASSES!!

Ok ok let me tell the story. I was meandering around the barren, craggy, ghoul-infested forest behind my haunted mansion when I took a tumble. It seems that I had fallen into a fresh grave recently dug by the demented, blind ice-dwarves that I have adopted as my own children. Normally, this sort of thing wouldn’t bother me, as I was deep in a reverie and no better place to have a reverie than the bottom of a grave! :) However, this time, I was dismayed to find that my favorite pair of purple-lensed wraparound sunglasses had broken in half! Now, I’m told that Los Angeles is rather sunny. I will believe this, though I haven’t seen direct sunlight since 1982. So, I began to get nervous. I immediately summoned my headless coach-driver and had him prepare the demon horse and the gauziest, most fragile carriage in the garage. “TO SUNGLASS HUT,” I exclaimed and we stormed off, leaving a cloud of spiders and bats in our wake. Upon arriving, I was horrified to find that the store’s entire stock of purple-lensed wraparound sunglasses had been purchased by Bono and donated to Ugandan children with hypersensitive optic nerves. This made me very, very, very, very, very, very sad and I did the only thing I know to do at times like these: I ascended to the topmost spire of my haunted mansion and stared poignantly out of the window for weeks, contemplating the meaning of every snowflake that fell from my rare, antique winter-making-machine (mounted on the roof). Then my IMAGINATION came alive! I’ll make my own line of sunglasses! Yes my own wraparound purple-lensed sunglasses! And the frames will come in all kinds of colors like black with white stripes and white with black stripes and grey with black and white stripes and some with images of Jack Skellington’s head on them! My imagination has come to my rescue again. I made sketches and sent them off to my workshop and production is moving along magically, I’m pleased to report. And I haven’t even gotten to the best part: seems the diminutive wretches in my R and D workshop are testing out a feature that allows the wearer to see through the skin and muscle tissue and look straight at the grinning white skull of that person’s one and only true, yet unrequited, love! OMG!!

FANTASMAGORE-A-GLASSES by Tim Burton!!!

Retail price – $17.98
Available at Hot Topic locations everywhere March 09

-TB